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Common
Adult Reactions:
• Mood Swings – Unexpected fluctuations in feelings, including
fear, sadness, outrage, irritability, anxiety, disgust, morbid curiosity,
playful laughter
• Distressing experiences such as flashbacks, nightmares, hyper-alertness,
emotional numbing
• Seeking Overcontrol - avoiding feared situations (flight, tall building,
public places, etc.), clinging to loved ones, persuading others of one’s
point of view. We try to deny that we live with risk. But when expectations
clash with reality – reality always wins
• Judging Ourselves – guilt and shame when we don’t react
as we believe we should
• Judging Others – disappointment or disgust when other feel
or act differently from our expectations, prejudicial blaming of convenient
targets in our lives
Common
Childhood Reactions:
• Regression – Returning to behaviors from earlier childhood
such as thumb sucking, bedwetting, etc.
• Clinging – Demanding physical contact and/or adult proximity
• Refusals – Resisting bed time, chores, usual roles
• Withdrawal – Avoiding friends, family and usual activities
• Physical Complaints – Stomach aches, headaches
How
to Help Ourselves:
• Be Gracious (to ourselves and others) – Accept flexibly
our varying feelings, attitudes and behaviors
(Like in an earthquake, flexibility wins over rigidity every time)
• Take Care of Our Bodies – Rest, relaxation, good nutrition,
exercise
• Connect With Others – Socialize, tell about our experiences,
patiently listen to others’ experiences, consider joining a support
group
• Return to Daily Routines As Soon As Possible
• Avoid Immediate Big Decisions – Often our judgment is impaired
by trauma
• Consider Professional Help - when stuck in feelings, thoughts
or behaviors that are unhealthy (Anxiety/worry, avoidance, addictive behaviors,
vengeful thoughts or acts)
How
to Help Our Kids:
• Initiate More Contact – Be more physically and emotionally
affectionate (as our kids allow it, especially if they become “clingy”)
• Initiate Conversation About the Crisis – Better to risk
raising it than allowing them to carry distress alone
• Approach the Topic in Broad, General Terms – Meet them where
they are, consider drawing or storytelling for younger children
• Validate Their Feelings
• Reassure Them That You Are Taking Steps to Protect Them
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